Solitude
by PixieKira
Summary: Tsubasa thinks about the important things of her life, and how they changed. Is she really alone? *Song-fic* "Solitude" by Evanescence.


**A/N** – Hey, all. This is my first KareKano fic, and it's based off the anime, not the manga. But, I don't know if the anime and manga are different, so, yeah. nn; I hope you like it. I can relate to Tsubasa. If only I had a Kazuma. Xx; Um, the song is called "Solitude" and it's by Evanescence. I felt it could somehow relate to Tsubasa, and so I wrote this. I hope you like it.

****

**S**olitude

**~*~**

            Tsubasa's dark teal eyes watched silently as the bright globe in the sky sunk further behind the curve of the nestled sea. The crimson clouds seemed to be swirling around against the peach tinted sky, and the water of the ocean oddly became the color of her eyes, only brighter. She hated the sunset, yet there she was, sitting on the bare white sand that had begun to sparkle due to the blinding ginger rays of the sun. She hated the sunset because it was the time when the sun left her... just like Arima and her father.

_How many times have you told me you loved her?_

_As many times as I wanted to tell you the truth_

_How long have I stood here, besides you?_

_I live through you,_

_You looked through me._

Arima had found his kanojo while she was in the hospital. You'd think he'd have more compassion towards her! Tsubasa scoffed. She was lying to herself again. Arima never liked her that way. Never has and never will. Miyazawa, or 'Yukinon' as her friends called her, was, frankly, the luckiest girl on the world. Not because of her perfect grades. Not because she had a loving family... and a loving father. Not because her only friends were now her friends. Not because everyone looked up to her. No... It wasn't because of anything like. It was simply because she had Arima's heart. She was putting it too frankly like that. She had Arima's soul, his _whole heart, his complete love. He had opened up to her. Bloomed open just like a flower. He was no longer a lonely little boy. He was proud, and happy with Miyazawa._

_Ooh, solitude,_

_Still with me is only you_

_Ooh, solitude,_

_I can't stay away from you_

Tsubasa knew she should be happy knowing that Arima was happy, but... she was afraid he didn't need her anymore. She was afraid that she wasn't special to him anymore. In Miyazawa's case, Tsubasa hated her. Well, she wanted to hate her as much as possible, but found she couldn't. She could hate anyone who stole Arima away from her, so why couldn't she hate Miyazawa Yukino? '_I guess that maybe I did at first, but gave up when I found out that...' _Tsubasa sighed, '_When I found out that she was perfect for Arima._' ...But, she didn't think she could ever fully like her. There were two deep holes in her heart right now. One used to be filled with Arima, and the other...

_How many times have I done this to myself?_

_How long will it take before I see?_

_When will this hole in my heart be mended?_

_Who now is left alone, but me?_

_Ooh, solitude,_

_Forever me and forever you_

_Ooh, solitude,_

_Only you, only true_

Ever since she was young, she had everything she ever wanted. She had a perfect friendship with Arima, and not solely because they could relate in something. And even though she didn't have a mother any longer, she was perfectly content with her father and the undying love he provided her. He told her he would love her forever... and that she was forever his grandest treasure. Always. But, everything seemed to turn around once she came out of the hospital due to her skateboarding accident. Arima had a girlfriend, but what she hated most, was that his father, the only person she truly loved, had a fiancé. Now her, she truly hated. Now her father never paid attention to her! She was never going to be happy. Never. She even went as far to run away to Miyazawa's house. She couldn't stand that woman being in her house all of the time, trying to get on her good side. If it was going to be that way, she'd rather stay alone. Tsubasa's eyes slowly slid shut, as she took in a deep breath of the salty air.

_Everyone leave me stranded,_

_Forgotten, abandoned, left behind_

_I can't stay here another night_

_Your secret in my heart,_

_Who could it be?_

Then came the issue of his father's fiancé's son, who wasn't only the same age as her, but a complete weird-o. He must worship the devil because of his punk atmosphere. That's what Tsubasa thought. When they were dining, her father, his fiancé, and his fiancé's son, Kazuma, which was his name, actually thought she was going to be his 'little sister' all because she looked like one! That really, really pulled her cork. She was in fact older than him! And that night, she made sure he'd remember it. But, when she went over to Kazuma's house, she found out that he wasn't at all what she thought. In fact, he was as lonely as she was, but never showed it. He smiled at her... That made Tsubasa think deeply. He always smiled at her! She shrugged it off, though. She would never find anyone who would be by her side forever. She would never be content. Tsubasa's feelings overwhelmed and she brought her knees up to her chest, her arms automatically wrapping themselves around them. And finally, she allowed the tears to fall.

_Ooh, can't you see?_

_All along it was me_

_How can you be so blind?_

_As to see right through me_

_And ooh, solitude_

_Still with me is only you_

_Ooh, solitude,_

_I can't stay away from you_

A few feet away, a safe distance from Tsubasa, stood Kazuma. For once, he wasn't smiling. The frown that curled on his lips looked slightly out of place. His gray-ashen eyes remained on Tsubasa, before dropping slowly to the gaze at the sandy surface beneath his shoes. He sighed, and walked in her direction. He wanted to keep her company. He wanted to be at her side.

_Ooh, solitude,_

_Forever me and forever you_

_Ooh, solitude,_

_Only you, only true_


End file.
